Emotions, emotions, emotions…

I can’t do it.

I stared at my laptop screen, its harsh glare hurting my eyes, and only one thought passes through my head: I can’t do it.

I was supposed to be studying for my Biology final today, however, even after hours upon hours of pouring over my notes, I still felt just as lost as I did when I began.

I looked over at the clock on my desk, and it blinked back “1:27AM” in bright bold red. Perfect, I thought. Only six hours until I absolutely bomb this test.

I shook my head. I couldn’t let these thoughts stop me. I had to make the most of these next few hours if I had any chance of passing this final.

So I kept going. I kept reading and rereading my notes, trying my hardest to absorb every last word.

But it didn’t work. I couldn’t register anything I was reading. The words and sentences blended together as my thoughts spiraled to unknown depths.

What would happen if I didn’t pass this test? I would lose credit. I would have to repeat this class all over again. Then I wouldn’t be able to take other classes next semester. Then, I’d fall behind. I wouldn’t be able to graduate on time. I wouldn’t get to graduate with my friends. They’d leave me behind. I’d have to waste more of my parents money to keep paying for college. They’ll be so disappointed in me. And nobody will want to hire somebody who graduated late. I’ll never get my dream job. I’ll probably end up as some guy who twirls signs on the side of the road. And I’ll lead a mediocre life with a family I can’t provide for and they’ll end up miserable and resenting me. And I won’t be able to afford to pay for the family therapy we’ll need because there’s no way twirling sign insurance covers that. Oh my gosh, my entire life will be completely derailed, and all because I flunked this final!

I couldn’t breathe. My throat closed up. My vision blurred. My palms drenched with sweat.The room started spinning around me. I clutched the desk and tried to take deep breaths, but nothing was working. I still felt like my entire world was crumbling before me. And there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. I can’t do it.