Unwritten Thoughts

INTRODUCTION

What does it mean to be a “first generation university student”? The term has become increasingly popular on college campuses in recent years, with universities promoting themselves to be first-gen friendly and offering services for these students. But what is a first generation student? According to the U.S. Department of Education, first generation college students are college students whose parents did not attend college.¹ Non-first-gen students probably believe there aren’t many differences between themselves and their first-gen peers — however, this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

First generation students face several challenges in university simply because of their identity as first-gen students, and it is one that unfortunately goes unnoticed far too often.

I myself am a first generation student. I’m very proud of this fact, as I was able to get into university through sheer hard work and determination with little help from my parents. However, I was also aware that being a first generation student would be a constant uphill battle, especially at a private institution like Chapman where there are few first generation students. With my status as a first-gen student, my biggest fears were falling behind academically and feeling isolated from my non-first-gen classmates.

Prior to the start of the fall semester, I received an email inviting me to the First-Generation Summer Bridge program. This, as put in the Chapman website, is a three day long on-campus orientation program for incoming first-gen students led by first-gen upperclassmen and faculty.²  Upon arriving, I was introduced to several first generation Chapman students and got their honest advice on how to navigate college life. I was also able to meet first-gen staff and hear what resources are offered for first generation students here at Chapman. I was especially interested in this part of the program, as I was largely unaware of the help Chapman provided to first-gen students. Most importantly, I was able to meet other incoming first-gen freshmen and was able to build a community with them during those three days. I can’t fully put into words how this experience benefited me going into Chapman. Of course it didn’t solve all of my problems or get rid of my uncertainties, however it made Chapman seem less daunting and that I have the ability to make it through these next four years despite the struggles I will encounter as a first generation student.

I, like every other college student in the country, have been affected by the Coronavirus. In response to the crisis, Chapman decided to shut down its campus, resulting in students having to take online classes for the remaining of the semester. 

The purpose of this autoethnography is to investigate the struggles of first generation students and explore how these struggles have been emphasized due to the COVID-19 pandemic. others. For this project, I have chosen to focus my research to the following driving questions:

• How has quarantine changed the experience of first generation students at Chapman?
• What is the current quality of education like for first-gen students compared to what education was like before?
• What challenges have first-gen students faced during the pandemic?

METHODOLOGY

For this autoethnography, I primarily used two types of research. I conducted secondary research through the use of the internet, namely online articles and PDF copies of statistics reports regarding first generation students. Unfortunately, because COVID-19 is still developing, there is no published research exploring the impact it has had on college students, especially first generation college students, so I broadened my secondary research to first-gen students in general. In terms of primary research, I conducted three interviews via Zoom: two with first generation Chapman students and one with a former high school classmate of mine who is currently a first-gen student at her own university. The purpose of the interviews was to get firsthand knowledge from first-gen Chapman students on how COVID-19 has potentially taken a toll on them and how their experience differs from first-gen students at other institutions.

Secondary Research

According to the Chapman website, first generation students only make up a total of 

20% of the student population.³ I kept this statistic in mind when conducting my secondary research and wanted to seek out what challenges plaguing first-gen students could possibly contribute to such a low percentage, and moreover, how these challenges are amplified due to the current situation of COVID-19.

Forbes Article

In his 2017 Forbes article, Troy Markowitz writes about how despite how determined and dedicated first generation students are in their journey in pursuit of higher education, it is particularly difficult for them simply because of their status as first generation students.⁴ Specifically, Markowitz sums up the many challenges first generation university students face into three sections: the opportunity gap, the awareness gap, and the achievement gap. The opportunity gap begins before the student is even born, The opportunity gap covers how predetermined factors such as race, socioeconomic status, etc. contribute to how well first generation students do academically and often prevents them from succeeding like non-first-gen students. Next, the awareness gap details the lack of knowledge first generation students have when entering university. Markowitz specifically notes that the awareness gap manifests in first generation students not knowing how to utilize university resources, such as financial aid. This is something unique to first-gen students, as non-first-gen students are able to ask their parents for help, while first-gen students are unable to do so. Finally, the achievement gap is the idea that a first generation student’s parents’ income plays a significant role in the student’s academic performance and the rate at which they complete their degree. This is relevant when speaking about first generation students, as they typically come from a low income background and, therefore, are most impacted by the achievement gap.

Article Analysis

Though this article was about first generation students as a whole, the concepts it covers can be applied to first-gen students at Chapman. The gaps between first-gen students and non-first-gen students are especially prevalent at Chapman. For example, the opportunity gap is significant on campus due to the fact that a majority of students come from a privileged background that first generation students don’t share due to their circumstance. In turn, the discrepancy in backgrounds can lead to a difference in academic success, as non-first-gen students are raised in an environment that prepares them for college, while first-gen students have to learn when they enter university and have to catch up to their peers. 

The COVID-19 pandemic has further highlighted the divide between first-gen and non-first-gen students. As a result of the quarantine, Chapman shut down campus and a majority of students returned home. While non-first-gen students were able to return to an environment understanding of what college entails, first-gen students returned to an environment not conducive to learning due to factors such as socioeconomic status. This can unfortunately cause a first generation student’s grades to suffer to a greater extent to that of a non-first-gen student’s.

Primary Research

Interviews

My three interview subjects are:

• A: Chapman University first-gen student, male, junior. 
• B: Chapman University first-gen student, female, sophomore.
• C: University of Texas at Dallas first-gen student, female, freshman.

To protect the interview subjects’ identities, I chose to assign aliases to them to allow them to feel comfortable answering honestly. Below, I have listed my questions and pulled quotes from the interviews to best represent the subjects’ responses.

1. How does it feel to be first generation at your university?

• A: “It was tough at first, a little lonely, but I’ve figured it out over time.”
• B: “It’s complicated. At first I felt insecure and like I didn’t fit in, and there’s still times I feel that way, but overall, now I feel more comfortable and confident on campus.”
• C: “Better than I expected, honestly. I got lucky and met some other first generation students early on and they’ve supported me a lot.”

2. Do you believe that first-gen students face challenges in university? If so, explain.

• A: “Yeah, I think so. First generation students aren’t really prepared for college, so we have to work a lot harder to catch up to everyone else. Like we don’t know what to expect when we get to college, where to get help, or how to study properly. We have to learn all of this through trial and error when everyone else already knows this, so we’re already behind.”

3. Do you believe that first-gen students are able to succeed like non-first-gen students?

• A: “Yeah, but it takes more effort. College is intense enough as it is, and even harder for us, so we have to work twice as hard to get the same results.”
• B: “Yes. I think that most people tend to sell us short because we’re first generation, but we’re just as capable as other students. Our background can play a role, but it’s ultimately up to us to ask for help and study hard if we want to do well at school. It’s in our hands and we can do it if we try hard enough.”
• C: “It depends. I think we have a lot of stuff that can hold us back, but if we really want to succeed, I don’t think being first-gen matters.”

4. Do you utilize on campus resources? If so, do you feel they have a big impact on your academics?

• A: “I use office hours a lot. I get a lot out of one on one interaction, and talking to my professors helps me understand the concepts more. I also use the library because I do my best work there and I feel like the quiet helps me focus on my homework.”
• B: “I go to meetings with my academic advisor just to make sure I’m on track with everything. I also go to the TLT (Tutoring, Learning, & Testing) center and that really helps keep my grades up.” 

5. How do you feel about how your institution handled the Coronavirus pandemic?

• A: “I think that Chapman is doing the best they can do with the short notice, but there’s definitely room for improvement. It feels like they’re more so reacting than acting when it comes to how they’re handling it, but that’s not really their fault because this situation is totally unprecedented. I think they could do a better job with distributing information and being more accommodating to students, and if anything, I hope this situation shows them what they need to fix in the future.”
• B: “I’m annoyed, honestly. Everything happened so fast and it felt almost like the rug was pulled out from under us. Even now it’s been over a month and I still feel like Chapman’s keeping us in the dark and not really explaining what’s happening.”

• C: “I’m understanding of it. They’ve done their best, given the circumstances. The transition to only classes has been a little hard, but I’m trying to stay positive and remind myself that it’s only a temporary situation.”

6. How have you been managing your schoolwork yourself during quarantine?

• A: “Pretty alright, all things considered. I’m kind of an introvert, so I’m already used to working on my own. But quarantine has been a whole new level. I’ve been really restless being alone and locked in all day, so forcing myself to sit down and focus on homework has been hard. Now that it’s been a few weeks I’ve been getting better at it, but it takes a lot of work and wears me out.”

• C: “Personally, it’s been challenging. I do best in a classroom environment, so having to learn through Zoom really sucks. I feel like now I have to hold myself accountable a lot more and I still haven’t learned how to do that.”

7. Have you felt able to utilize the resources you would normally use? Have your professors accommodated for potential lack of resources?

• A: “I haven’t. Professors offer office hours over Zoom, but I’m in a different state so it’s been hard for me to meet with them. We speak mainly over email, but even then it’s taken a while to get a response from them.”
• B: “Not really. Like I needed help from my academic advisor for a class in the fall, and I got an automatic email saying they were busy. I got a response a few days later, but it was frustrating not getting the help I used to get.”

8. In what other ways (mentally, physically, emotionally, etc.) has quarantine affected you? Explain how.

• B: “I’ve become a lot more withdrawn since quarantine started. I’m naturally an introvert, so being at Chapman forced me to be social. But now that I’m back home, I don’t have that social interaction and I’ve withdrawn from my friends a bit because we’re all really busy and have our own stuff to worry about, so that’s been really hard to adjust to.”

• C: “I’ve been struggling with my mental health. I have anxiety and I was getting counseling on campus, but that got suspended because of the quarantine. And it’s awful timing because the quarantine is making my anxiety even worse and I have to deal with that without any help.”

9. Do you believe that the quality of education has lessened because of quarantine? If so, explain why.

• A: “I think it definitely has. The online classes just aren’t the same as in person ones. It’s so much harder to learn through Zoom and I feel like I’m just muddling through. And it’s really frustrating because we’re paying so much just to get an online school education, which isn’t worth what we’re paying for.”
• B: “For sure. Professors just can’t teach the same way online. They’re doing their best, obviously, but there’s something lacking with online classes. It feels like they’re just so impersonal and I honestly can’t take them anymore.”
• C: “I think so. I really notice it when it comes to trying to communicate with my professors. Like before if I had a question during class, I felt comfortable raising my hand and asking it. But now during online classes, it feels awkward trying to interrupt class just for one question, so I don’t end up asking it and I stay lost. And it’s not like they’re doing it on purpose, but being in that online class environment creates that feeling and keeps me from really learning.”

10. Do you feel like quarantine has affected you differently because you are first generation? If so, explain.

• A: “Yeah, I think being first generation has made quarantine a little harder. Right now, other students can get help from their parents because they went to college, but first generation students don’t have that. My mom and dad don’t understand all that I have to do for school, and it can be difficult to get them to understand.”
• B: “I think so. Online classes are hard for everyone, obviously, but being first generation adds more pressure. We went to Chapman because we wanted to get a quality education. Now we’re stuck with online classes and not only is it harder to learn that way, but it’s a huge disappointment too.”
• C: “Yes. I was just getting used to the university environment after struggling to find my footing, and now I have to start all over again. And I think it’s harder for first generation students because we really need the extra support of in person instruction and now that’s gone.”

Interview Analysis

After reviewing the answers of my interviews, I found that the interview responses were in line with the research I conducted. For example, I found that the students agreed that being first generation attributed to challenges they face as students, and they provided specific examples on how these challenges have been currently heightened due to online classes. My secondary research also concluded that there is a significant gap between the experiences and backgrounds of first-gen and non-first-gen students. My primary research supported this claim, as my interview subjects expressed a sense of isolation and feeling of “other-ness” on campus compared to their non-first generation peers.

Overall, there was a lot of overlap in my interview responses. For instance, all of my interview subjects reported that they were frustrated by how their university handled the move to online classes. They also all agreed that they felt as though the quality of education they were receiving was poorer because of quarantine. This was an interesting conclusion to make, as it wasn’t a feeling limited to Chapman students and is likely to currently be felt by other fist-gen students at other universities. 

However, during my interviews, I also found some discrepancies — both between the answers my subjects provided and between the answers as a whole and the data I gathered from the Forbes article. For example, my former high school classmate stated that from her experience, she felt that being a first generation student was relatively easy, whereas the two Chapman students I spoke to both felt more difficulty when transitioning to the university setting. Further, all interview subjects were in agreement that first generation students are able to succeed like their non-first-gen peers, while the Forbes article states that first-gen students are at an institutional disadvantage and, therefore, cannot keep up to non-first-gen students because they don’t face the same obstacles.

CONCLUSION

Through this autoethnography, I have been able to draw conclusions about the unique challenges first generation face and how said challenges have been heightened due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Through both my secondary and primary research, I have been able to get a more varied and well-rounded perspective on the experiences of first generation students during quarantine to base my conclusions on.

In summary, my research has demonstrated that first generation students are already at a disadvantage due to their status as first generation students, and the COVID-19 pandemic has made school much more difficult. This is because of the lack of resources available to first-gen students and them not receiving the extra support they need. Both the lack of official research directly tied to my topic and the limited pool of interview subjects prevented me from reaching a completely accurate conclusion. However, based on the data I was able to compile, I believe that first generation students are predisposed to face challenges in college and the ongoing pandemic has made their education much more difficult.

As I have been working on my autoethnography for the past few weeks, my finds have produced interesting results.

My autoethnography topic is exploring the ramifications the COVID-19 pandemic has had on first generation students at Chapman. Unfortunately, due to how recent COVID-19 is, there are no published studies about the direct impact the quarantine has had on first-gen students yet. So to add to my autoethnography, I decided to use the internet research statistics and online articles relating to first-gen students as a whole and will tie it to what is currently happening. I also conducted interviews, both with Chapman first-gen students and a former classmate of mine who is a first-gen student at her university. I wanted to get the perspective of someone outside of Chapman to further highlight the unique challenges that are present for first-gen Chapman students.

When conducting my secondary research, I found it yielded similar answers to the primary research. My main source of secondary research came from an online Forbes article detailing issues that keep first generation college students from succeeding like their non-first-gen peers. The writer emphasized three main struggles, and I kept them in mind when conducting my interviews. I used these three struggles and catered them to my interview subjects in order to fill in gaps and make my findings specific to Chapman. My interviews further proved my existing opinion that first generation students are currently facing hard times due to the COVID-19 pandemic and gave me specific examples.

In looking at the responses from the interviews I conducted, I found there to be a strong overlap in the answers — especially in the responses of first-gen Chapman students. I found that they were all very frustrated with the current situation and found the quality of education through online Zoom classes difficult to adjust to and learn from. They also missed having easy access to resources on campus and felt that reaching out through email didn’t feel the same or produce the same effect. The only outlier I found was with my high school classmate, who felt that she was able to receive the same amount of help from her institution. This added complexity and showed that not all first-gen students are experiencing the same struggles.

In conclusion, I can draw from these results that COVID-19 has left a majority of Chapman first-gen students frustrated and struggling to make due with the situation.

For my autoethnography, I am going to cover the topic of the COVID-19 pandemic and how it has impacted the community of first generation college students here at Chapman University. 

Because the COVID-19 pandemic is still in the process of developing, so there aren’t many concrete statistics about it I can include in my autoethnography. Because of this, for the purposes of the assignment I will focus my secondary research on studies and statistics of first generation students. These studies will cover what life is like for first generation students at various universities, and also what life is like for first generation students at Chapman specifically and what services the university provides for them. Using this as my secondary research, I will tie this to the overarching message of my autoethnography.

When first starting my research, I first went to the Chapman University website. This page introduces students to the Promising Futures Program, which is a group made up of first generation students that support each other. According to this web page, roughly 20 percent of Chapman students, as well as many admission counselors, are first-gen themselves. This stuck out to me as an important statistic because it highlights just how small the population of first generation students is here at Chapman. As far as resources on campus goes, this site online lists various resources available to first generation students to make their Chapman experience as seamless and beneficial as possible. Under the section “Campus Resources,” resources such as the Academic Advising Center, Career and Professional Development, the TLT Center, etc are listed. What I found interesting about this is that these opportunities are open to all students and that there are no specified resources tailored to first generation students.

Following this, I decided to broaden my research and look into statistics about first generation university students as a whole. I went to this website for first generation students and found several sheets with statistics on first-gen students. This first sheet highlights the percentage of students who were first generation in 2015-16, which was 24%. This next sheet shows that 65% of freshman students that are enrolled full time are first generation. In this sheet, the graphs show that In their freshman year, a greater percent of first generation than non-first generation students used financial aid services, however, a lower percent of students used health, academic advising, and academic support services. 

https://mauriciov6211.wixsite.com/mysite

The purpose of this website was to tell the story of my identity through a photo essay, and specifically the four traits that I feel define me the most. For these four characteristics, I decided to go with the city I’m from, my anxiety, my religion, and my friends. My photo essay website is meant to show who I am through pictures and what I want the audience to take away from it is a better and deeper understanding of who I am as an individual.

The process of actually creating and curating the website was easier than I initially imagined. I was able to decide on a layout for my website with relative ease. I had a good idea of what pictures I wanted to use for each category and was able to procure them from family albums or from my phone. I was also able to write an “about me” section and descriptions for each of my selected pictures. The part I was most concerned about when first starting this project was actually working on the website and editing it. However, I was able to figure it out with little to no difficulty.

I made very deliberate choices when it came to picking out the pictures for my WIX website. For the most part, I selected recent pictures that I had saved on my Google Drive. For some, such as pictures from my childhood, I had my parents go through family albums back home and send me the pictures I needed. For others, I had to go to Google Images to look up some photos of the Dallas skyline, because I didn’t have any readily accessible. The section I had most trouble with was my anxiety because I didn’t know how to show a physical manifestation of it, however, I decided to go with coping mechanisms.

My decision making process for choosing a layout for my website was pretty simple. I wanted to go for a sleek simplistic layout that would be easy for the audience to navigate. I also wanted to go with a website that I would be able to use and edit easily. I went through several measures to personalize my website and make it my own. For example, I put my name as the title and wrote an “about me” page to briefly introduce myself to the audience before they start reading.

When it came to writing the descriptive portions of each photo, I stopped to think about what I wanted to say. For each section, I wanted the descriptions to have the cohesive theme of why that trait was important to me. In each photo, I went into a specific reason why I felt that trait defined me. However, that wasn’t all I did. There were times, such as in the religion section, that I told brief anecdotes to get my point across. There were also times, such as in the friend section, that I reminisced about past experiences to highlight the importance.

When we think of global pandemics, it’s always some far off post-apocalyptic concept. The origin story of a young adult dystonia fantasy sweeping bookstores everywhere. It’s something we think of as separate from real life that would never happen to us.

Except now it has.

With the growing awareness of Covid-19, measures have been taken in order to limit the spread of the disease and contain those infected. This includes in person classes at Chapman being canceled, most students leaving campus to return home, local restaurants and establishments closing, and everyone being encouraged to practice social distancing.

As someone diagnosed with anxiety, the panic surrounding Covid-19 has definitely taken its toll on me and my mental health. Even though I logically know that it’s unlikely I or one of my loved ones will become infected, my anxiety still plagues me and makes me fear for this. Aside from this, the abundance of which people are buying products from stores has also caused anxiety. I have enough food and supplies to last for several weeks so I have no reason to worry, but my anxiety still causes me to feel irrationally anxious at times.

In order to control and minimize the spread of Covid-19, Chapman has suspended all in person classes and most students have returned home. Because of this, my day to day life has changed drastically. I have stayed on campus and plan to remain here until the end of the semester and in the last week I have felt the significant shift that has occurred. I have grown accustomed to going to class every day and interacting with classmates and professors. These are interactions that I greatly look forward to and have lately missed. It’s also been a part of my daily routine to spend time with friends and since they have returned home, I am now unable to do that and feel their absence.

Even though these are difficult and uncertain times, I still work hard to find comfort and peace. I do so by keeping in touch with my loved ones like friends and family over mediums such as text messages, phone calls, and video chat. Through talking to them, I find comfort and reassurance. I also make sure to practice self care routines, such as binge watching my favorite television shows and eating my favorite foods.

This last week has been immensely challenging, however I will remain positive to the best of my ability and remain calm because I know that this will pass.

This past month, my classmates and I have spent several class periods discussing and learning about rhetorical analysis. Rhetorical analysis can be most succinctly defined as “the close reading of a text to figure out exactly how it functions.” We’ve been exploring what rhetorical analysis is through an academic lens, but we’ve also studied what rhetorical analysis is outside of the scholarly environment and how we can incorporate it into our everyday lives.

Throughout the semester, I’ve learned much about the several elements that go into rhetorical analysis, such as ethos, pathos, and logos. I had previous experience learning about these strategies in English classes in high school, but this semester was the first time I had the opportunity to study them as rhetorical devices specifically.

Another aspect concerning rhetorical analysis we talked about was style. The style of rhetorical analysis directly affects the way the audience views the author’s credibility. Elements of style include tone, figurative language, and word choice. I found this interesting to learn about because I’m a writer, so I have to incorporate these aspects into my writing on a daily basis. However, this class was the first opportunity I had to look at these strategies with the intention of actively trying to persuade the reader of something, and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Of course, I have to use rhetorical analysis when it comes to school work – such as for the essay we recently had to write for class. However, outside of an academic setting, I’m also able to use rhetorical analysis in my day to day life.

I plan to become a writer and thus, have to write extensively on a daily basis. Previously, I would just write continuously then edit, but now I Take rhetorical analysis into account and actively think about it while writing. Now when I write, I take into consideration how specific rhetorical techniques have an effect on my pieces of writing. Such as using certain words to provoke a certain tone with the audience, or using metaphors to engage my audience and persuade them to keep reading.

 Another way I incorporate rhetorical analysis into my daily life is when I read news articles. When reading the news now, I take what I know about rhetorical analysis and utilize it to determine whether or not what I’m reading is biased or trustworthy.

I’ve learned a lot about rhetorical analysis this past semester, and I look forward to learning even more to utilize it outside of an academic setting.